Apple. Update yourself.

We’ve been advising a supermarket on what they can call their staff.

For the last few years, we’ve pointed branding clients at Apple’s job titles. There’s a conviction to these titles that creates a sense of belief in the abilities of the person doing the job:

Genius. Creative. Expert. Specialist.

But after 13 years, these efforts at verbal branding suddenly sound as hollow as the titles that came before them:

Technical Support Assistant. Product Demonstrator. Sales Assistant [Peripherals]. Customer Service Representative.

Vanity of vanities! All is vanity.

So much of Apple today seems contrived rather than inspired. Dogmatic rather than innovative.

And it was really the novelty of those job titles that made us re-assess our prejudices about what customer service could be.

After 13 years, if Apple truly are genius creatives and expert specialists, it’s time they surprised us again.

And if you’re a marketing or HR client thinking of what you should call your staff, don’t look back. Look forward. If you can find something that momentarily engages the customer in considering what your staff member actually does, you’re winning.


PS This article by the brilliant Lucy Kellaway (Apple’s descent into drivel) shows just how deep the rot goes at Apple. Follow Lucy on Twitter @LucyKellaway